Thoughts on Networking OR "I'm NOT CHEAP!"

So, today I was working at Starbucks and it suddenly came to me.  

"Is networking the same thing as brown nosing???"

I mean let's look at it.  I feel like, the tactic is, I go up to you, make you feel good, feed you, and then ask you for your business or the business of those you work with.  

Now doesn't that just make you feel like a guilty unethical business person?

Well, I texted a buddy of mine who's a bit more business savvy than I am about the whole thing and we had a chat on the phone about it, that no!  It's absolutely not brown-nosing.  Perspective, it's all about perspective.  

I mean, you can certainly take networking from that standpoint if you like, and I'm sure it'll help you a bit, but people know when you're not genuine and when you're just leeching off of them.  The answer, I believe is this perspective: Networking is not about you.

I mean, that's why it's called NETWORKING.  It's not a one way thing that helps me.  It's supposed to help the other guy, too!  If I network with you, it's because maybe I can help you, and hopefully, you can help me.  This was a really nice conclusion to come to.  I didn't feel guilty making networking plans, I feel like I'm a genuinely nice person who just wants to help someone out.  

And I mean, I can honestly say, I'm just a social guy who loves relationships!  So, if I ask about your life and stuff to "open you up" then it's completely genuine.  I mean, truth be told, I'd rather be out running or cycling with you or gleaning knowledge from you or asking you for life advice than trying to sell you something or exchange business information.  Knowing this and being sure of this makes me feel like I like what I do because what I do is about having lots of friends who do different things, granted, they're older than me.

Too bad doctors generally scare me a little bit.  In the sense that I'm very artsy, emotional and they're usually clinical, factual people.  Hmm, well opposite tracks though, right?

And now for something completely different:

So I feel bad because I always come into Starbucks now asking for a cup of hot water because I just bring in my own tea.  I feel so bad, though!  Like I'm cheap.  So I always feel guilt-tripped into ordering chocolate or biscotti or anything cheap really. 

It's not that I'm cheap... Hardly.  If anything, I'm quite the opposite.  Ask my parents.  I'm high-maintenance.  But I AM in college with a part-time job doing a million things that don't pay--yet.  And I only drink tea.  I don't drink coffee.  So I mean, come one, cut me some slack here.  

Ugh, I guess that's the downside to being social.  You care a lot about what people think.  Including the barista at starbucks who you think thinks you're cheap.

john.